Intersection Drama Class

After working at the Intersection after-school program for 2 1/2 years, I am currently now a volunteer teaching drama class and helping lead the girls' youth group (called M3 Clique-Matthew 17:20). As long as I'm in Columbia, MO, I desire to continue pouring into these young hearts.

P.S. I wasn't having a really bad day for real. That was just the prompt.

Support Raising: Real Talk

Ok, it's time to get real. REAL TALK right here. I am nowhere near where I am supposed to be in my support raising with the Navigators. Although the last month has been filled with amazing ministry opportunities and times to connect with students, fundraising has taken the back seat and I now understand why it's important to have the funding secured prior to hitting the campus. Once you get on campus and become burdened by the harvest there, it's difficult to remove yourself from that and focus on something that not only seems less important, but it's WAAAY less enjoyable.

I have been attacked all over the place, and have been dwelling on all of the reasons why I'm not at the level I'm supposed to be at. Honestly, they're just cheap excuses that mean nothing to God, who owns the bank. I am giving these excuses up to God, and am not letting lies from the enemy hinder me from what the Lord has in store for my life.

Silly excuses (and even silly lies) that I am giving up to God (deep breath): I wasn't raised a believer, and have no home church or community to support me. My mom's family lives in the Philippines, and they are legit poor. The families/kids I have been serving the past two and a half years (at The Intersection) are low-income, underprivileged. They were my Christian community over the past few years. My non-believer family thinks I am CRAZY for doing this, vocalizing it. People are just going to keep saying "no."

To be honest, all these things are excuses. The majority of my face-to-face appointments have been discouraging to the point where I have been gripped with fear. Fear that Edge Corps is not where I am supposed to be, which is a total lie. The Lord has kept me in Columbia so that I may draw near to Him, learn more about who He is, and develop my abilities as a spiritual leader. Out of the overflow of my personal relationship with Christ, I can help encourage and equip other college-age leaders, and continue to pour into students who need Jesus.

Uh oh- Percentage REAL TALK. I am currently at 26% funded (Insert gasp from other Nav staffers) and have been feeling like the well is dry. I was supposed to be at 75% funded over a month ago. My anxiety has been real in terms of funding, however, I still believe that God will provide all of my funding. Rather than allow my fear to halt me (and the plans to advance the gospel on campus), I have decided to partner with my campus directors and Korryn and take EXTREME measures.

I am currently fasting and praying for God to bring in $10,000 by October 1st. I believe that the Lord is huge and that this amount of money is nothing to the Creator of the Universe. I have been reading and rereading Isaiah 58.

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard." -Isaiah 58:6-8

I have had to step back from ministry on campus during the day (haha, perhaps way overdue, but God blessed my time on campus) from 10am-3pm in order to work on raising support. I have been forced to be super creative with contacts, and am praying that God prepare the hearts of the people I'm supposed to approach next. I pray that support raising will turn out to be a fruitful ministry, and that people are challenged to give money that doesn't really even belong to them to begin with- it's God's money.

This all has been hard to write down and share. A huge enemy attack has been that I'm a failure. But I continue to seek the comfort of scripture and know that as long as I remain obedient to the Lord, obeying His commands, and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, God will be pleased.

Blessings, love, and God's perfect peace,

Jackie

P.S. I told Korryn yesterday at 3:00pm that I was asking the Lord to bring in $10,000 by October 1st. At 3:37 I received a phone call saying that I would be receiving $5,000 by next week. I am encouraged, refreshed, and expectant that my Father in heaven provides.

Meet Korryn!

Improvisation may not be our forte, but I just wanted you all to meet another staff member with the Mizzou Navs. Korryn is a former biology major, an artist, and a devoted follower of Christ.

Don't worry, my favorite medium is still writing so I will continue to do so.

Write on, man, write on.

That's What's Up!

Above is a video about my attempt to teach one of the foreign exchange student friends I met in Navigators American slang. Sometimes I forget that I am a huge nerd and don't speak normal vernacular like everybody else. :)

WOW. I say "um" and "uh" so many times. Don't worry, next time will be slightly less annoying.

For Kathleen

My roommate has informed me that she has been stalking my Edge Corps blog and that I have time and time again disappointed her through my failure to post consistently. I reassured her, and I reassure you as well, that I will be more diligent in posting.

So much has happened in the last few weeks! Two weeks have past since classes at the University of Missouri have kicked off, and it has been a pleasure serving the Navigators on Mizzou's campus as well as helping out with CMU's group. It has been a busy, busy time, and through the business, it has been so important for me to recognize that my time with God cannot be compromised. I seek Him first in the mornings, and despite the hectic schedule, I have been in such a rich time of learning and growing through personal Bible study.

The photo above is of Korryn (left), Ashley (right), and I at a friend's bonfire. Women from different ministries (including Navs) gathered together to worship, pray, and share with each other how God has been working in our hearts and lives. It was so encouraging to hear different women share difficult things in their lives, or struggles that they were completely and totally giving over to the Lord. Then, under a clear sky glittering from shining stars, we were able to lift our voices in worship and give the Creator of the Universe the praise that He deserves. It was such a beautiful thing.

Also a beautiful thing, it has been a delight to see new faces at our Navigator meetings! It's so much fun to me to be able to meet with young women one-on-one (for coffee of course!) and get to know them better. One particular young lady surprised me by sharing that she loves heavy metal screaming music...which goes to show that you definitely can't judge a book by its cover. I never would have guessed that in a million years! I have also had so much fun getting to know some of the foreign exchange students. I had a huge moment of ignorance when I asked one of the new students named Daniel if he knew how to speak Cantonese or Mandarin. He looked at me gravely and said that he was from South Korea.

I FELT SO BAD!!!

I am thoroughly convinced though, that not even Asians can tell other Asians apart. This conclusion was solidified last week, when I was shopping at the Filipino market in town called Meechus. The owner asked me what nationality I was. When I told him I was half Filipino, he acted very surprised. Our exchange has prompted me to start picking up Tagalog again, as I still feel like God is going to bring me back to the Philippines- perhaps even with the Navigators. One can never tell.

New faces at Navigators have been delightful, and old faces have been equally delightful. I love the heartbeat of our Navs group (which is smaller than a lot of the Nav college groups in our region). The willingness to serve and love each other is what drew me in, and that willingness is prompted by a hunger for God. These students are truly devoted to the Lord, and I pray that their devotion is contagious to the new students. My heart has definitely been for outreach (among other things), to go to places that may seem unconventional to share the gospel. However, discipleship has been a huge part of my heart as well, and I pray that as God brings in new people, the Navigators remain faithful to disciple, invest, and teach those who are wanting to learn.

And, I think I've failed to mention THE PLEX, which is the duplex where I live with five other women. They all have been affiliated with Navigators at some point in their lives, or are currently in the ministry. The vision of a house full of Christian women began three years ago, and has continued with new additions until now. The fellowship has been fantastic! Every week (usually on Sundays), we eat dinner together and then a different Plexian will lead our meetings as we get to know each other more intimately, and share what God has been teaching us. I am so thankful to know these lovely ladies.

This post may seem disjointed, and I'm going to continue along those lines and say that a few of my favorite moments from the last few weeks have been playing ULTIMATE frisbee with the Navigators after our Nav nights on Thursdays. We're kind of a motley crew on Stankowski field, as some of us have never really touched a frisbee (and I was barefoot and in jeans). However, the laughs outweigh the number of throws that fail to make it to a partner, and it is a blast watching friends that I worship and serve with running around feigning competitiveness.

Also, I am finding out more and more that Korryn (who discipled me) is a BEAST at sports. Like, DANNNNGGGGGGG, she's so good!

Until I blog again, friend, I will continue to spend my time teaching foreign exchange students useless slang.

Magandang araw po (good day, sir/madam), and I hope Kathleen is now happy. :)

See More Him

The photo above is of my friend Lis and I up in a tree while we were in Texas. I feel that it is fitting for the message of Zacchaeus out of Luke 19, which has been on my heart for months.

Luke 19: 1-4, "Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way."

I'm just going to stop right there. I would encourage you all to read on and discover (perhaps all over again) how Zacchaeus repents of his sins and turns his life around as soon as he's in the Lord's presence. But I can't get out of my head how Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus so much that he pulled away from the crowd, and shimmied his short self up a sycamore tree just to see Him.

Amazing!

I have to ask myself on a regular basis, "Ok Jackie, what are you doing to see more of God? Are you really seeking and climbing and desiring more of Christ so much that you do something drastic to reach Him? To what length are you willing to make sacrifices to follow?"

There's a song by Flame called "See More Him" that explains the struggle of getting sidetracked or falling into idolatry when the God who is truly satisfying is right in front of us. It's Christian rap, which I understand isn't everybody's cup of tea, but I am a lyrics person and think the depth of the lyrics and the scripture woven tightly in the songs challenges me to think about my faith on a deeper level.

"Though I'm a Christian my vision sometimes even get blurred
When I'm resisting His visits and not reading His Word
Desperate need to be purged
Easy to lose the wonder
Through these daily distractions banging louder than thunder
When I devalue my Savior and start treasuring trash
And longing for mud patches thinking it's greener grass
Exchanging eternal pleasures for the ones that's going to pass
Looking for 'em to satisfy but they lie never last"

The hook proceeds to cry out, "I wanna see more Him, cus I'm sick of more me/ I'm gonna be like Zacchae in that sycamore tree."

What up Flame?

I want to climb higher just to get a glimpse of our perfect Savior who took me in my brokenness and transformed me!

*********************************************************************************************************************************
Ah yes, and I wanted to give a huge praise report as to how support raising for Edge Corps is going. Frankly, I have been blessed by how people are coming together to give to this mission. God keeps surprising me and adding people to my support team daily. It is a tedious, yet exciting journey and I'm thankful even that it hasn't been easy. I feel like I'm being strengthened and prepared to reach some higher branches this year.

Peculiar, Missouri: Where the "Odds" are with You

Many things have changed in Peculiar since I shook the dust of this sleepy ol’ town off the boots I never owned, and left for greener pastures (well…Columbia, MO if you can consider that greener). The house, for one, is in complete disarray as my family renovates with a firm belief that things must get worse before they can get better. My parents are preparing the house to go on the market by September and will proceed to shake the dust of this sleepy ol’ town off their New Balance tennis shoes and move down to Louisiana. From Peculiar to New Orleans, talk about culture shock.

One thing that hasn’t changed is the quiet, serenity that moves in and out of pastures, over ponds, through trees and into my backyard, always to accompany me when I look at the land that is and will forever be my childhood. Such a breathtaking picture of God’s creativity and a marvelous reminder of His majesty!

So tonight, BJ and I decided to cook dinner for my family. This was a daunting task since our Dad is the head chef and hardly EVER allows anybody else in his kitchen to utilize his fancy schmancy cookware. I was feeling ultra self-conscious and thought “He’s totally going to judge this meal harsher than a judge on Iron Chef…” It turned out to be a blast though! BJ whipped up his buffalo dip appetizer, Dalton stirred the dessert rum sauce, Brandon cut and arranged fruit on a platter, while I made a huge mess with everything I touched. Bon appetit!

While I knew I was suppose to go to Peculiar to do more support raising, another big reason I came back was because all of the males in my family had birthdays. Brandon turned 28, Dalton turned 18, BJ turned 21, and Dad turned 50. (Talk about pivotal birthdays: 18, 21, and 50.) We had many a conversation about how my father is older than dirt and how BJ is finally 21 so he can taste his first sip of champagne (TEE-HEE)!

I’ve had time to think here in Peculiar. Time to sit on my parent’s front porch and talk to God as the butterflies fly by (sure to get heat exhaustion from all that flapping in the July heat). Time to work on letters, make a few face-to-face appointments, and learn to trust that all of this humble toil will equate to my ability to labor for the Lord on Mizzou’s campus in the fall. What an honor!

To be completely honest, my heart has not been in a good place since I’ve been home. It’s always difficult to be in Peculiar for multiple reasons. For one, I’m constantly reminded of my “old self” here and I am constantly battling old habits and thought patterns that I don’t really have to deal with in Columbia. In addition, I’m not exactly surrounded by Believers all the time, so my best friends/accountability buddies are not here to lean on. It’s been tough, and I’ve had to reread scripture dealing with spiritual warfare and all that jazz.

But WOW do I have some praise reports. For one, God has showed up in HUGE ways since I’ve been here. People’s hearts have opened up and my support raising has finally started picking up. Best believe that for a while, I doubted God’s provision, as it seemed completely hopeless. But I should have known better! I will continue to work to please the Lord and not man and trust that His plan is perfect.

A few of my favorite stories include meeting with a gym teacher that I haven’t seen since elementary school. What a delight it was to share my life with her and have her do the same! My brother BJ also surprised me with a hand-written note stuck in the bathroom door.

“Dear Jackie,

Here is a little mula-moo for your fundraising. Continue to do God’s work. We need at least one successful person in our family. Uhhh…that’s it. Bye-bye.

Love,

BJ”

I’m not a crying gal, but shoot...