Wait, what? Navs is having a Dance Party?

www.midmissourinavs.com/mizzou/mizzouviewer.php?file=96

There is a time to dance, and Mizzou Navigators shall do just that on October 30th. I'm excited to check out everybody's dance moves, and even more excited to check out people's lack of dance moves. Honestly, I can't dance, but I do anyway because it's fun. Seeing people dance who can't dance is more fun than clouds made of cotton candy.

The above video link was edited by Clayton Kreisel, who is awesome. Korryn and I filmed the video at the local Goodwill. Oh yes, we are excited about a dance party.

Power of Testimony

Campus ministry with the Navigators continues to teach me so much about God, people, and myself. It's a challenging endeavor, and I'm thankful to be in an environment where I'm growing exponentially and coming into contact with beautiful individuals who come from various backgrounds. I'm learning that there is power in my testimony, and the transforming power of Christ is evident when it's shared.

The Lord continues to remind me of what He's brought me through, and it's such a beautiful thing to be able to look past some of the darkest times of my life and realize that God has gotten glory through it all. Back in 2007 I could barely see past the fact that I was in and out of psychiatric centers or the fact that I had to take seven medications a day to maintain my sanity. Being labeled "mentally ill," I equated it with brokenness, and was fixated on the hurt, pain, and confusion.

I just met with my friend Brittany, who has literally gone through the same struggle with mental illness. Meeting with her is so refreshing and Proverbs 27:17 (iron sharpening iron) is always in action as we discuss what God is doing in our lives, how treatment is going, and where we feel the Lord is leading us. I am constantly reminded that those dark hours did indeed happen, but God in His ultimate goodness redeemed me (and Brittany as well). I love talking to Brittany about it because I feel completely free to be open and honest to her about details and don't have to side-step any issues or "dumb down" discussion about doctor's visits, medication, the hospitalizations, or whatever. I know that we can share our experiences with each other without fear of judgment and our conversations point to God and how we can use these things to bring Him glory. We've been talking about how our testimony can speak to others who struggle with mental illnesses or how we can help family/friends of people struggling be more supportive and understanding.

Galatians 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm then and do not let yourself be burdened again by the yoke of slavery."

As Christ freed me from bondage and captivity, I feel like my mental illness has been an illustration of God breaking my personal chains of captivity. In a lot of ways, my episodes have forced me to drop every single IDENTITY that was not of God and make my IDENTITY Christ. The manic-depressive episodes broke me and brought me to Christ.

When Brittany and I talk about these things, we are not just sharing a common experience, but we are thinking, dreaming, praying through how the Lord can use us for His glory. I pray that God uses both of our experiences to speak truth into the lives of others, and show those suffering that the Lord is sweeter, bigger, stronger than the pain.

He sets you free.

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my

fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of the night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling-

even the LORD, who is my refuge-

then no harm will befall you,

no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will treat upon the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in troubke,

I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation."

Intersection Drama Class

After working at the Intersection after-school program for 2 1/2 years, I am currently now a volunteer teaching drama class and helping lead the girls' youth group (called M3 Clique-Matthew 17:20). As long as I'm in Columbia, MO, I desire to continue pouring into these young hearts.

P.S. I wasn't having a really bad day for real. That was just the prompt.

Support Raising: Real Talk

Ok, it's time to get real. REAL TALK right here. I am nowhere near where I am supposed to be in my support raising with the Navigators. Although the last month has been filled with amazing ministry opportunities and times to connect with students, fundraising has taken the back seat and I now understand why it's important to have the funding secured prior to hitting the campus. Once you get on campus and become burdened by the harvest there, it's difficult to remove yourself from that and focus on something that not only seems less important, but it's WAAAY less enjoyable.

I have been attacked all over the place, and have been dwelling on all of the reasons why I'm not at the level I'm supposed to be at. Honestly, they're just cheap excuses that mean nothing to God, who owns the bank. I am giving these excuses up to God, and am not letting lies from the enemy hinder me from what the Lord has in store for my life.

Silly excuses (and even silly lies) that I am giving up to God (deep breath): I wasn't raised a believer, and have no home church or community to support me. My mom's family lives in the Philippines, and they are legit poor. The families/kids I have been serving the past two and a half years (at The Intersection) are low-income, underprivileged. They were my Christian community over the past few years. My non-believer family thinks I am CRAZY for doing this, vocalizing it. People are just going to keep saying "no."

To be honest, all these things are excuses. The majority of my face-to-face appointments have been discouraging to the point where I have been gripped with fear. Fear that Edge Corps is not where I am supposed to be, which is a total lie. The Lord has kept me in Columbia so that I may draw near to Him, learn more about who He is, and develop my abilities as a spiritual leader. Out of the overflow of my personal relationship with Christ, I can help encourage and equip other college-age leaders, and continue to pour into students who need Jesus.

Uh oh- Percentage REAL TALK. I am currently at 26% funded (Insert gasp from other Nav staffers) and have been feeling like the well is dry. I was supposed to be at 75% funded over a month ago. My anxiety has been real in terms of funding, however, I still believe that God will provide all of my funding. Rather than allow my fear to halt me (and the plans to advance the gospel on campus), I have decided to partner with my campus directors and Korryn and take EXTREME measures.

I am currently fasting and praying for God to bring in $10,000 by October 1st. I believe that the Lord is huge and that this amount of money is nothing to the Creator of the Universe. I have been reading and rereading Isaiah 58.

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard." -Isaiah 58:6-8

I have had to step back from ministry on campus during the day (haha, perhaps way overdue, but God blessed my time on campus) from 10am-3pm in order to work on raising support. I have been forced to be super creative with contacts, and am praying that God prepare the hearts of the people I'm supposed to approach next. I pray that support raising will turn out to be a fruitful ministry, and that people are challenged to give money that doesn't really even belong to them to begin with- it's God's money.

This all has been hard to write down and share. A huge enemy attack has been that I'm a failure. But I continue to seek the comfort of scripture and know that as long as I remain obedient to the Lord, obeying His commands, and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, God will be pleased.

Blessings, love, and God's perfect peace,

Jackie

P.S. I told Korryn yesterday at 3:00pm that I was asking the Lord to bring in $10,000 by October 1st. At 3:37 I received a phone call saying that I would be receiving $5,000 by next week. I am encouraged, refreshed, and expectant that my Father in heaven provides.

Meet Korryn!

Improvisation may not be our forte, but I just wanted you all to meet another staff member with the Mizzou Navs. Korryn is a former biology major, an artist, and a devoted follower of Christ.

Don't worry, my favorite medium is still writing so I will continue to do so.

Write on, man, write on.

That's What's Up!

Above is a video about my attempt to teach one of the foreign exchange student friends I met in Navigators American slang. Sometimes I forget that I am a huge nerd and don't speak normal vernacular like everybody else. :)

WOW. I say "um" and "uh" so many times. Don't worry, next time will be slightly less annoying.